If you are reading this you are most likely a 1st time Dad or seasoned father looking for a refresher course. Maybe you’re a well intentioned baby Mama, pinning stuff for Daddy to read. Either way, you’re all here for the same reason. Soon(ish) you will be having a baby.

People tell you lots of stuff about having babies. Most of it is reminiscent of Hallmark commercials. People have a way of instantly forgetting the truth about delivery and the hospital. I’m here to tell you…It ain’t all cuddles and cuteness. There is a lot you may find yourself un-prepared for.

Forget what to expect. Here are 3 things you may NOT expect about the birth of your baby.

1. Blood and Gore

In the movies, birth looks so beautiful. There might be some screaming and sweating, but ultimately there’s a beautiful, glowing mom who is handed a clean (and suspiciously dry) beautiful baby that she gazes at adoringly. Huge parts of the real story are left out.

For example…the insane amount of blood.

So.Much.Blood.

After her first shower, the bathroom may resemble a crime scene. They also never show the placenta. In and of itself it is a beautiful, life sustaining organ, however, it also happens to be one of the most disgusting things you’ll ever see.

And then the one that strikes fear in the hearts of women everywhere.

Poop.

There may be poop, a little, or perhaps a lot. Shit may get real. Literally. Do not bat an eye. Of all the things that are being violently expelled from your wife’s body, this should be the least of your worries.  Whatever you do, wipe this memory from your mind and let no one speak of it ever again. Plus, poop will now become an occupation for both of you, so if it does bother you, give it 24 hours. Soon you will speak in poop.

2. Tortuously Exhausting Hospital Stay

This will likely rank on your top five of things that equate to pure torture in your life. Even if you were one of the chosen ones, and had a super quick labor, the excitement of it all has probably exhausted everyone involved. And I mean exhausted.

It is likely you have never been this tired in your entire life.

I mean first you have the anticipation and excitement of labor – labor that typically lasts for hours and hours. There’s a good chance that’s already contributed to one sleepless night.

And the birth – the avalanche of emotions and realization that the weight of the world is now on you.

Compounding that is the hospital staff. Don’t get me wrong… they are amazing folks who work incredibly hard, but they are super annoying when you just had a baby.

You are both more exhausted than you have ever been in your life. Your tiny baby is likely resting peacefully, yet sleep is impossible because of the constant barrage of doctors, nurses and miscellaneous hospital staff parading in and out of your room.

And if you ever catch a break from them, in come the well wishers, wanting to wake the baby up to hold her. It is never ending.

There is no place for sleep in a hospital. And don’t think there will be at home either. Welcome to your new world of stumbling through life like a sleep deprived zombie.  That sleeping like a baby thing.

Not for you.

3. Breastfeeding Struggles

Breastfeeding sounds so simple. Women were made to do it. Yet a staggering number of women struggle with breastfeeding. Often babies have feeding issues like inability to correctly latch. Moms struggle with positioning the baby. Typically milk doesn’t come in until a few days after birth and this is often news to first time parents.

Never fear, your tiny babe won’t starve. Those first few days she’s getting colostrum, a veritable super food, which is jam packed with incredible and powerful antibodies.

Those first few days are crucial. The hospital will have lactation staff. Use them over and over again. There’s no help when you get home.

It’s gonna hurt. After a few days, your wife’s nipples will be all but shredded. It will go away, but have some sympathy and help her out as much as you can. Be sure to encourage her, and don’t hesitate to find a lactation consultant if breastfeeding struggles continue.

Bear in mind, this list cannot begin to touch the scope of things you may encounter during the birth of your child or hospital stay. Have something not on the list? Please share it in the comments!

Like this post? Be sure to check out the other posts in this series and share them with a Dad-to-be!
Truths for New Dads about the First Days with Baby

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